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MyI Tool Instructions
Tracking Your Interactions, Goals and Commitments
After reading about the Theory of Interactions^TM you may be wondering how you can get started. Here are some simple guidelines for using the MyI tool:

1. Make a commitment to track your interactions for 30 days.
2. Enter you interactions at least once per day. If you don't enter them every day you will forget them. I know this from experience.
3. Enter any goals you make for yourself. When you complete the goal you get to log it as a positive interaction. If you don't meet the goal, it will be logged as a negative interaction.
4. Enter any commitments you make to other people. When you meet a commitment you get to log it as a positive interaction. If you don't meet a commitment, it will be logged as a negative interaction.
5. Once per week, review your entries for the past week and document what you have learned. Look at your percent positive metric and think of ways to improve it. Is there a specific person you are having negative interactions with? How can you change that? Do you have some bad habits that need correcting? If so, set a goal to eliminate your bad habit. You can also set a goal to create a good habit.

How to classify interactions:

Negabomb Interaction: a severely negative interaction. You have done something so negative that it may never be forgiven by the people you impacted. Word of it spreads quickly and the negative ramifications stick with you for a very long time. A negabomb interaction can be life changing in a very negative way.
Negative Interaction: you have done something that is viewed as negative by the person you had the interaction with or you have done something to yourself that isn't good for you.
Positive Interaction: you have done something that is viewed as positive by the person you had the interaction with or you have done something to yourself that is good for you.
Transformational Interaction: a highly positive interaction. You have done something truly special and highly positive. Word of it spreads quickly and the positive impact sticks with you for the rest of your life. A transformational interaction can be life changing in a very positive way.

Remember, to properly classify an interaction you need to look at it through the other person's eyes. The only exception to that rule is when you do positive or negative things to yourself. For example, if you exercise, you get to log that as a positive interaction. But if you overindulge yourself, log it as a negative interaction with yourself.

This tool is great for improving self-awareness which is a necessity for having positive interactions. Go ahead and give it a try for 30 days. You will be amazed how much of a positive difference it can make in your life.

Start, Stop and Continue Exercise Instructions

Using the Start, Stop, and Continue Exercise to Improve Your Relationships

One of the most effective teambuilding tools used in the corporate world today is called the Start, Stop and Continue Exercise. The exercise helps teams address negative behaviors that are hurting productivity and contributing to a poor work environment. The exercise also reinforces good behaviors and provides a medium for brainstorming new ways to improve the company's performance and build a healthier work environment.
The exercise is a three step process and is relatively simple. A facilitator gets the team to answer the following three questions:

1. What should the team start doing?
2. What should the team stop doing?
3. What should the team continue doing?

This exercise can also be used in a one-on-one manner to improve a relationship. Each person in the relationship needs to answer the following three questions:

1.What do you want me to start doing?
2.What do you want me to stop doing?
3.What do you want me to continue doing?

It is safe to say that most people in relationships haven't asked each other these three questions before. What typically happens is one person gets angry and gives the other person an earful of negative feedback.

How come you never (insert phrase)?
Why do you (insert phrase)?
When was the last time you (insert phrase)?

People tend to provide feedback only when they are angry and they have had enough. This never leads to positive change. An angry person is incapable of having a rational discussion that leads to a logical conclusion. So please don't throw these questions in your spouses face in the middle of an argument. Do the exercise when each person is in a relatively good state of mind, or at a minimum, not fighting mad!

Ideally, both people in the relationship should participate in the exercise. But if for whatever reason, you are dealing with someone that doesn't want to know how they can help improve the relationship, ask her to answer your questions without requiring her to hear how she can improve. You can then get started on doing positive things for her. The hope is that she will observe you doing positive things, which will motivate her to want to do positive things for you. Yes, it may be a bit optimistic but at least you can always say you tried. Sometimes, one person has to take the first step to start positive change in a relationship.

Use the MyI tool to send a Start, Stop and Continue Exercise request to the person you want feedback from. When the request is completed you will be notified via email. The best way to track your progress is to log each request in your MyI Tool as a commitment. Every time you exhibit the behavior he or she requested, log it as a positive interaction. Every time you exhibit a behavior that he or she doesn't like, log it as a negative interaction. You can't improve it if you don't measure it!